Five years – that’s 60 months, 260 weeks, 1,821 days, 43,704 hours…. You get the picture. That’s the time we’ve spent saying yes to each other. We all know that we say yes on our wedding day, but what some people get wrong is that they then choose to not say yes each day after that.
One thing I think JD and I did really well was plan for our marriage more than we did our wedding day. A dear friend of mine told me very early in my planning stages that my wedding day wasn’t about me. It was about honoring God and the commitment that we were making before Him and to each other. I think some people get offended by the thought of the day they’ve dreamed of their whole life not being about them. It was such great truth to me though, because it put everything in perspective. Marriage isn’t about that day. It’s really more about every day after that. While engaged we read marriage books together, had open conversations with people who had been married for decades and went through really great pre-marital counseling. We knew what we were getting in to before we ever arrived to our wedding day and it made it so much easier to say yes to each other in the days to come.
I’ve loved being JD’s wife the last five years. We’ve done a lot together: finished college (somehow debt free!), started two different internships, done a ton of ministry, led about 100 people on overseas trips, contemplated a wedding business, moved a few times, you get it. There were stretching seasons, but there was a never really “hard” time in our marriage. There were a few months a couple years in we didn’t like each other much and would rather spend time with people other than each other, but even then, we still made the choice to say yes. And that season passed, the way they always do when you choose to not be stuck, and we grew even more.
And now we prepare for our marriage to grow again. Our first baby is due in just over 6 weeks. It was so important to us to lay a foundation in our marriage before we had kids and I am forever grateful for the time we’ve had of just us. I know when we are both sleep deprived and adjusting to a little person in our lives it may be difficult at times to prefer each other, but that’s really what’s always in my heart for my husband. I love him by honoring who he is and showing him preference, even when I don’t want to. And my prayer is that by saying yes, day after day, over the past 1,821 days that it will be engrained in me enough to continue to do it.
As much as I want to be the most amazing mom, I want to be an even better wife, because I know one day (many, many days from now), that it will just be us again and we will preparing for our marriage to change again. I want to look back then and know that I truly said yes to JD and the covenant I made with him every single day.